I Won't Leave You Lonely
by Topsy
Summary: Season 8 spoilers - my version of how Mark leaves the show through Doug and Carol's eyes....


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March 5th-12th, 2002 

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This is my version of what should happen to Mark on ER during Season 8, except through the eyes of Doug and Carol. But it's mostly a cast fic, with Elizabeth, Susan, Doug, Carol, Rachel, and Ella. Some other short parts involved. 

**It contains major spoilers (if you haven't seen up to now on Season 8) so if you are truly worried, don't read it. But this is *MY* version, no one else's (including the writer's of ER) so....read at your own risk. **

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**March 1st, 2002**

Mark sat alone in his house, staring down at the telephone. He still hadn't told Elizabeth about his tumor being back. He knew he should call her, to tell her he was going to die, but he didn't know the number for the hotel. But he wasn't sure that if he knew it anyway if he would call her. He just couldn't find a way to tell her. 

He sighed and leaned forward, holding his head in his hands as he pressed his palms to his eyes. All he could think about was that he was going to die within a few months. He'd never get to see Ella grow up. She probably wouldn't even remember him. And Rachel. She would remember him. He wasn't sure which was worse. Not knowing your father, or grieving because he wasn't alive anymore. Would Rachel even survive with Jen? 

He'd never get to see either of his daughter's fall in love, get married, have their own children. He didn't want to die this young. He had so many things in his life that he still wanted to do. 

And then there was Elizabeth. He loved her and was worried about how she would deal with raising Ella alone. Would Liz even miss him now that they were practically separated? He didn't know. 

And Susan. His beloved Susan. He had always loved her, always would love her. He knew he loved Elizabeth, but Susan was the love of his life. The only reason he couldn't tell her now was because of Elizabeth and Ella. He couldn't betray them. But before he died, he thought he might tell Susan how he felt about her. Just so she would always know he had never stopped loving her. He thought she felt the same way about him, seeing as she actually talked to him, actually understood him better than Elizabeth did anymore. She had stayed with him after he had his treatment done. 

What was he going to do? There were four women he loved, who he didn't want to leave. He didn't want to leave Rachel because he didn't want her to hurt. He didn't want to leave Ella because she had never gotten to know him. He didn't want to leave either of them because he wouldn't get to be in their future. He didn't want to leave Elizabeth because she didn't deserve to have to raise their child alone. He didn't want to leave Susan because he loved her and hadn't gotten what he had always wanted with her. A life. But he knew that even if he lived forever, he'd still never get that with her because he was devoted to Elizabeth. 

Everything inside of Mark ached for the women he would have to leave. If only he knew a way to avoid dying. All the sorrow and pain was building up inside of Mark and he knew if he didn't talk about it, he would burst. He needed to tell someone. Anyone. 

He picked up the telephone and dialed a number. 

;;;;;;;; 

In Seattle Doug and Carol sat snuggled together on the couch. Doug had his arms wrapped tightly around her and his hands were resting on her slightly rounded, pregnant tummy. They were watching a movie on the television and were half asleep. The girls were upstairs in their bedroom, sleeping. 

When the phone rang, Doug groaned. 

"Let the machine get it." He said. 

"No, Doug. We need to get that. It could be something important." Carol said. Doug sighed and scooted out from underneath her. 

"If it's the hospital, we're both deathly sick." He said. Carol smiled at him as he went to the kitchen to retrieve the cordless phone where they had left it. He picked it up and turned it on. 

"Hello?" He asked. 

"Hey Doug." The voice on the other end replied as Doug headed back into the living room. 

"Mark." He said and glanced at Carol. She looked back at him, slightly surprised. "What's up buddy?" 

"Nothing much. I uh, I just thought I should call. We haven't talked for a few months." Mark said, avoiding the inevitable. 

"So what's been going on back in Chicago?" Doug asked, relaxing back against the couch. Mark shrugged and then replied because Doug couldn't see him. 

"A lot, actually. But tell me first what's going on in Seattle." Mark said. Doug smiled widely. 

"Carol's pregnant." Doug said. Mark's stomach began to ache. 

"That's great news, buddy." Mark said sadly. Doug would get to see his children grow older, why couldn't he? Doug sat forward again. 

"What's wrong, Mark? You don't sound very good." Doug said and glanced Carol's way. She watched him, worry fluttering over her eyes. 

"Well, actually, Ella overdosed on E." Mark said. 

"On what?" Doug asked loudly, shocked. 

"Yeah. Rachel had some Ecstasy her book bag to take to a party and Ella got into it." Mark replied. 

"Oh God. How is she?" Doug asked. 

"She's alright now. She's home again." 

"When did this happen?" Doug asked. 

"About a month ago." Mark said. 

"Good God, Mark. How are Rachel and Elizabeth?" Doug asked. 

"Elizabeth took Ella and they are staying in a motel because I wouldn't send Rachel back to Jen. Rachel's taking it pretty hard. She feels horrible." 

"I can imagine." Doug said and reached over to take Carol's hand. She scooted up next to him, but didn't interrupt, figuring she would have to wait to hear what Doug sounded so shocked about. 

"I couldn't choose between my daughters, ya know? Elizabeth asked me to, but I don't love Ella more than I love Rachel, so how could I pick between them?" Mark sighed. "Elizabeth didn't understand, so she took Ella away." 

"God, Mark, I'm sorry. How are you holding up?" Doug asked. Carol squeezed his hand, growing impatient. She was getting really worried. Doug glanced at her and sent a silent message through his eyes that he would fill her in. Carol knew, but she didn't want to wait. 

"Not so good. My tumor's back." Mark said. 

"What?" Doug asked, shocked once more. 

"Yeah, I went to the doctor about three days ago. He told me it was back and that it's inoperable." 

"Oh shit, Mark. I.." 

"Only have three or four months to live at the longest." 

"I don't know what to say, Mark." Doug said. 

"It's okay." He said, understanding. What was he supposed to say? 

"How is Elizabeth taking it?" Doug asked. 

"I haven't told her yet." Mark replied. 

"What? Why not?" 

"She's been out of the house. She'll barely talk to me at work. I can't get through to her. She doesn't want to hear from me." Mark said. 

"But she'd want to know about this, Mark. Get her to talk to you." Doug said. 

"I..I know. But I...told Susan. She's been helping me a bit." Mark said. Doug understood what Mark wasn't saying. Doug knew that he still loved Susan and was glad that at least someone was there for him. 

"Have you told anyone else?" Doug asked. 

"No, just her and the doctors." Mark said. Doug was silent. 

"Mark..You know if you ever need anything that you can call us." Doug said. 

"I know..I, uh, that's why I called tonight. I need to talk to someone. Needed to tell someone else." Mark said. Doug nodded and bit the inside of his cheek. 

"Well...Still, call us...If anything...happens." Doug said. Mark nodded and bowed his head. 

"You know I will. I, uh, I better go. You need to be with your family." Mark said. 

"So do you, Mark." Doug replied softly. 

"Yeah, yeah, I will. Don't worry about me." Mark said. 

"You know we will." Doug said. 

"Yeah. Well, uh, I should go now." Mark said. 

"Alright. Bye buddy. Remember to call us if you need something." Doug said. Mark nodded. 

"Thanks, Doug. Tell Carol I said hello and congratulations. Bye." Mark said and hung up quickly. Doug hung up slowly and looked down at the phone. Carol tugged on his arm. 

"What is it?" She asked. 

"A lot has happened that we've missed." Doug said sadly and turned to her. 

"Like what?" Carol asked. Doug sighed. 

"About a month ago, Ella got into Rachel's book bag and took some Ecstasy." Carol gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. 

"Is she alright?" Carol asked, muffling her voice with her hand. Doug nodded. 

"Yeah, she's okay now. But Elizabeth took Ella and they are staying in a motel because Mark wouldn't send Rachel back to Jen." Doug said. 

"Oh, poor Mark." Carol said and reached down to take hands with Doug, thinking that was all of the trouble in Chicago. 

"And there's something else." Doug said. 

"Oh.." Carol trailed off, her heart racing once more. 

"Mark's tumor is back." Doug said. Carol's mouth dropped open and she stared at Doug. "It's inoperable. He said he only has four months to live at the most." Tears suddenly rushed to Carol's eyes. 

"Oh, no, Doug." Carol said. 

"He hasn't told anyone but Susan." 

"He hasn't talked to Elizabeth yet?" Carol asked in surprise. 

"It seems that he thinks she has left him. She won't talk to him at work either. He hasn't had the chance to tell her or anyone but Susan. She's been there for him he says." Carol nodded as tears slid down her cheeks. She knew that the two of them still loved each other and was glad that Susan was there for him if Elizabeth wasn't. 

"Oh, Mark. He won't even get to see Ella grow up." Carol said painfully and she placed a hand on her stomach. Doug covered her hand with his and they both silently hoped nothing of the sort would happen to them, even though they felt awful for their friend. "We should go to Chicago." Carol said. 

"Not now, we can't. We can go later when Mark is sicker, but if we go...for the...if we go now and later, you won't have enough days for maternity leave." Doug said. Carol nodded, knowing he was right. 

"I still...Mark needs people." Carol said. 

"Susan's there. And he's going to tell Elizabeth soon, I know it." Doug said. "He just needs a few days." Doug said. Carol sighed and wiped at her tears as she looked at Doug. He took her face into his hands and kissed her forehead before pulling her to him to cradle her softly against his chest so they could begin grieving for one of their best friends. 

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**May 1st, 2002**

Doug stood in the kitchen, making breakfast for his girls. Carol sat at the table, talking to Tess and Kate. Doug smiled at them slightly, at his girls and Carol's rounded five-month belly. He wondered fleetingly if it was a boy or another girl. Either way it wouldn't matter to him. 

"Here are your eggs." Doug said and carried them to the table. The two-years-and-three-month old twins sent him matching shining smiles as they looked up at him. He scooped eggs onto their plates and his and Carol's plates. Suddenly the phone rang. Doug smiled. 

"I'll get it." He said and dumped the pan into the sink before picking up the telephone. 

"Hello?" He asked. 

"Doug?" He heard a British voice reply. 

"Yes?" Doug questioned, a bit confused at first. 

"This is Elizabeth." The woman replied. Doug's stomach clenched and he glanced quickly at Carol who was oblivious. 

"Oh, hello Elizabeth." He replied. Carol's head whipped up and she stood quickly from her seat to make her way to him, thinking the same thing as Doug. Was Mark dead? They had only heard from him once since that first call and that was a week after he had called the first time. He had called the second time to tell him that he had told Elizabeth and things were okay and that he'd call them again later. 

"I, uh, I was just calling about Mark." She said. Carol leaned her ear against the phone so they could both hear. 

"What's wrong?" Doug asked quickly. 

"Well, um...Mark asked me to call you." Doug and Carol simultaneously let out a breath. He wasn't dead, but the yet in the phrase hung heavily in the air. 

"Yeah?" Doug said quietly. Elizabeth cleared her throat. 

"He'd like it if you came to Chicago. He, uh," her voice broke, "he wants to see you one more time. The doctor said he only has about a week left." She said and suddenly she was crying. Carol felt tears building up in her eyes and she reached for Doug's hand. He took it and squeezed gently. 

"Is it at home or in the hospital?" Doug asked. 

"At home..He uh, he wants to be home." Elizabeth said and Doug and Carol both understood. He wanted to die at home. 

"Okay, well, tell him that we'll get a flight as soon as we can. Tell him to hang in there." Doug said. Elizabeth sniffled. 

"Alright. I'll, uh, tell him. Good-bye Doug." 

"Bye Elizabeth." Doug said and hung up the phone. Doug and Carol looked at each other before she stepped into his arms and buried her face into his shoulder. She struggled to hold the tears in, not wanting to scare the girls. They simply stood there for a few minutes, holding each other, as the twins ate their breakfast. 

Kate and Tess finally became curious. Kate hopped out of her chair and walked to her parents. 

"Mama?" She asked, looking up at them. Carol backed away from Doug and looked down at her daughter. She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. 

"Why you crying?" Kate asked. 

"Mama's sad." Carol replied. Kate held up her arms and despite Doug and the doctor's warnings, Carol bent down to pick up her daughter. Kate snuggled softly against Carol and Carol hugged her sweet, warm little body. Tess, not wanting to miss anything, hopped off her chair and came running. Doug scooped her up into his arms and led Carol to a chair so she wouldn't strain her back holding Kate. She sat but kept her face buried in the little girl's curls. Kate simply sat and let herself be held, somehow sensing that her mother needed it. Tess perched on Doug's hip and looked down at her mother. 

"What wrong wi'f Mommy?" She asked in a whisper. 

"She's sad because our friend, Uncle Mark, is sick." Doug whispered back. Tess nodded gravely, not really understanding, but just knowing that her mother was upset. "C'mon, punkin', let's call the airport." Doug said and walked back to the phone. 

"The a-port?" Tess asked. Doug nodded. 

"Where all the airplanes are." He said. Tess nodded, having been fascinated with the planes she frequently heard flying overhead. 

"Are we goin' on a airpane?" Tess asked. 

"Yeah, we are." Doug replied and dialed the number for the airport. 

;;;;;;;; 

**May 2nd, 2002**

Doug and Carol walked into Helen Hathaway's house the next night. The girls were walking sleepily into the house, teddy bears dangling from their arms as they held Carol's hands with their other hand. Doug carried the stuff the girls would need to stay at Helen's house for a week or so. 

Helen smiled widely at the identical girls and immediately her gaze went to their sleepy eyes to determine which one was which. The girls were identical except for their eyes. Kate had Doug's dark chocolate colored eyes and Tess had slightly lighter, hazel eyes that were much like Carol's. 

"Hello Katie. Hi Tessie." Helen said. They smiled tiredly at her. 

"Mamaw!" They yelled and ran to her. She bent down to give the both of them a hug. Carol and Doug smiled at the trio and Javier who was coming up behind them. Helen released the girls who ran to Javier to hug him. They didn't call him Grandpa, but they knew him like he was one. 

"Hav, hav, hav!" The girls yelled his nickname as he bent down to hug them. Helen came to Carol and kissed her cheek and then Doug's. She had come to accept the fact that her daughter loved him and he was the father of her grandchildren. 

"Hello Carol, Doug." Helen said. 

"Hi Ma." Carol replied. 

"Helen." Doug said. 

"I've got the girls if you want to go see your friend." Helen said. Carol smiled sadly. 

"Thanks Ma. We'll be back in a few hours. If we're not home by dinnertime, just feed the girls. Doug and I can find something." Carol said. Helen nodded. 

"Alright. You go on. They'll be fine." Helen said. 

"Thanks Ma." Carol repeated. 

"You're welcome. Go." Helen said, ushering them to the door. Doug smiled and took Carol's hand as they walked back to the rented car. 

;;;;;;;; 

Doug and Carol rang the doorbell of Mark and Elizabeth's house. Within seconds they heard locks on the other side of the door being turned before Elizabeth swung the door open to face them. Carol and Doug smiled warmly. 

"Hello." Elizabeth said, forcing a smile onto her lips. She didn't smile often these days. Carol looked at the baby on Elizabeth's hip. 

"Well, look at her." Carol said. Ella leaned her head against Elizabeth's shoulder shyly. Elizabeth looked down at her for a moment. 

"She's a shy one. Lord knows where she gets that from." Elizabeth said. Doug chuckled as they walked into the house. Elizabeth shut the door behind them and turned to look at the Rosses. 

"And look at you." Elizabeth said, motioning toward Carol's belly. Carol blushed slightly. 

"Yeah. I'm always growing." Carol said and placed a hand on her stomach. Elizabeth smiled sadly; remembering when she herself had been pregnant and now realized she'd never be pregnant with another of Mark's children ever again. 

"Mark's upstairs, in the bedroom." 

"He's not sleeping is he? If he is when can come back." Doug said, considerately. Elizabeth shook her head. 

"I was just up there a few minutes ago. He was watching television. If he's asleep now, he doesn't matter. He'd want me to wake him if you were here. Doug nodded. Elizabeth sighed and began to ascend the stairs. The pair followed her as Ella looked at them curiously. "Thank you for coming. It means a lot to Mark." 

"Of course we would come. Mark's our friend." Carol said. Elizabeth nodded. 

"I know. I just..." She trailed off. Doug reached for Carol's hand silently and squeezed as they looked at Ella. They both understood the emotional pain Elizabeth was going through and didn't know quite what to say. Carol felt sorry for Ella, who would never know her father, and Rachel because she may never get over her father's death. Carol knew she surely hadn't for the longest time. 

"Where's Rachel?" Carol asked, thinking of her. 

"She's at a friends house. She's been really helpful lately, but I think sometimes it gets too stressful for her to watch him die, so she has to go away every once and awhile." Elizabeth said softly as they reached the top of the stairs. Carol nodded sadly and felt Doug's shoulder brush hers. Elizabeth walked down the hall a little ways and knocked on a closed door. Then she slowly pushed it open. 

Mark was looking at them from one eye. His right eye was taped shut. He smiled a bit, but his mouth was stiff, like he had had a stroke, and it looked like he was grimacing instead. 

"Hey." He said. 

"Hey Mark." Carol said as she walked to his bed. For some reason, despite the fact that she was of a medical mind, she had pictured him to look absolutely normal. She wasn't prepared for this somewhat paralysis of his face. Even though she was unprepared, she showed no signs of it outwardly. 

"Doug." Mark said. Doug smiled. 

"Hey, bud, how do you feel?" Doug asked. 

"I'm okay." 

"Mark, I'm going to go change Ella." Elizabeth said. Mark nodded, and all of them knew she was really leaving to give the friends a private reunion. Mark lie in the middle of the bed, so Doug and Carol each took a sitting position on either side of Mark. Mark smiled at Carol. 

"Look at your belly." He said. She smiled and rubbed her hand across it. 

"I'm not as big as a house this time." She said. He chuckled a bit, even thought it was difficult for him. Carol reached for his hand. 

"Long time, no see." Mark said to Doug. Doug nodded. 

"I know." Doug said and felt a little guilty. That was mostly his fault. When he and Carol came back to pick up the girls, Doug had avoided the hospital and all the people there at all costs. Now he wished he hadn't. You never knew when you would lose a friend. "I'm here now, though." Doug said. Mark nodded. 

"Where are the twins?" He asked. 

"We dropped them off at Helen's before we came." Doug replied. Mark nodded. 

"Bring them over sometime. I'd like to see them." Mark said. 

"How about we bring them to visit tomorrow." Carol suggested, glancing quickly at Doug. He nodded a bit. 

"I'd like that." Mark replied with a soft smile. 

;;;;;;;; 

Doug and Carol sat in a small diner a few miles from Helen's house. They hadn't made it home in time to eat dinner with Helen, so they had stopped to get themselves something to eat and to talk in private. 

Carol sat, staring down into her water, as she rubbed her fingers against the condensation on the side of the glass. 

"I didn't expect him to look like that, ya know?" Carol asked. Doug reached out and touched her wrist. She looked up at him. 

"I know I should have, but I didn't either." Doug said. "I expected him to look like normal old Mark. I forgot there would be signs of it." Doug said. Carol's eyes filled with tears. 

"I feel so awful for his daughters. And Elizabeth. Susan even." Carol said and sniffled, forcing the tears to go away. 

"Me too." Doug said and leaned toward her. He touched her face. "But we shouldn't dwell on it. It'll make us sad." Doug said. Carol nodded a bit and closed her eyes. When she reopened them, they were clear. 

"I know." She said. 

;;;;;;;; 

**May 3rd, 2002**

"Where we goin' a'gen?" Kate asked from the backseat. 

"To visit Uncle Mark." Doug replied as he drove. 

"He sick." Tess stated. 

"Yes, Mark's sick. You girls have to be very careful when you talk to him, okay?" Carol asked and turned to look at them. The girls nodded solemnly. They had already had this discussion and knew this was serious. "Don't jump on him and be nice when you ask him questions, okay?" Carol asked, knowing it was useless. If the twins had a question, they didn't hold any regard for whether it was appropriate or not. Not that Carol really expected them to. After all, they were hardly two years old. She turned back around in her seat and met Doug's supportive gaze for a moment before he began watching the roads again. 

;;;;;;;; 

Carol and Doug finally pried the twins away from Ella. They had been amazed with her and had wanted to play. Doug and Carol had promised they could play later before they led the girls up the stairs and into Mark's room. 

The pair stood in the doorway, each of them holding a twin's hand. Tess and Kate stared quietly at Mark when they turned to look at him. He smiled a bit. 

"Hey girls." Mark said quietly as they crept up to the bed. 

"Hi." Kate whispered. 

"Mama said we be kayfull." Tess said. Mark nodded. 

"Which one of you is which?" He asked. 

"Kate." Kate replied. 

"Tess." Tess replied. Mark chuckled a bit and patted the bed awkwardly with his hand. 

"C'mon up here and sit on the wagon." Kate smiled as the twins climbed up to sit beside him. 

"It's no wagon, it's a bed!" She said. Mark chuckled. 

"It's a special wagon. Only special people can sit on it." He said slowly. Tess and Kate's eyes widened. 

"We special?" Tess asked. Mark nodded. 

"Very." He replied. Tess turned to look at her parents. 

"Mama and Daddy, too?" She asked. Mark nodded. 

"Sure they are." He said. Doug and Carol smiled at him. 

"We all special." Kate announced. Mark chuckled and nodded. 

"We saw a baby 'ownstairs." Tess said quietly. Mark nodded. 

"That's Ella." He said. 

"Daddy said she you daught, daught," Kate tried. 

"Daughter." Mark said. Kate nodded widely. 

"Mama said we play wi'f 'er later." Tess said. 

"You can." Mark said. Tess and Kate nodded, satisfied with that. "You're going to have your own baby in your house pretty soon." They nodded again, amazed that he knew. 

"Mama say she finks it a boy." Tess said. Mark nodded seriously. 

"What did your Daddy say?" He asked. 

"He don' care if it's a boy 'er girl." Kate replied. Mark nodded and smiled at Doug and Carol. 

"That's good." Mark said. "What do you think about having a brother, maybe?" 

"Fun!" The twins said at the same time. Mark chuckled. 

"You probably won't always think so." He said and the girls merely stared at him. Finally Kate asked what she was dying to ask. 

"Why you eye closed?" She asked, meaning the tape. He smiled a bit, even as Carol realized it was hopeless. 

"'Cause I can't shut it on my own." Mark said. 

"Why?" Tess asked. 

"'Cause I'm sick and I can't." Mark said. Kate and Tess nodded, satisfied with that. 

"Why you talk funny?" Tess asked. 

"My mouth is like my eye and I can't control it so well." Mark said, seeming to not be bothered by their curious questions. 

"Can you get out of duh wagon?" Kate asked. Mark shook his head. 

"Not by myself. I can with lots of help." He said. "But I haven't for awhile." 

"How come?" Tess asked. 

"I can't walk by myself." He said. "My legs are like my eye and my mouth." Mark said. The twins nodded, satisfied with those answers for the time being. 

;;;;;;;; 

The girls kissed Mark good-bye before Carol took them downstairs. Doug stayed behind to talk to Mark for a few minutes. 

"They are gorgeous." Mark said. Doug smiled widely and nodded proudly. 

"They are. I can't wait for this new baby." Doug said. Mark smiled. 

"Enjoy it." Mark said sadly. He hadn't been able to hold Ella by himself for over a week now. Doug patted his hand briefly. "Thanks for bringing the girls though. I just wanted to see them before I died." Mark said. Doug sighed and bent his head. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words would come. "You don't have to say anything. I know it's not the easiest subject. But I'm ready now. I just want to say my final good-byes." Mark said. 

"Well, this isn't ours yet." Doug said. "Carol and I will be back soon. Maybe tomorrow." Doug said. Mark nodded. 

"Alright." He said. Doug smiled sadly. 

"Bye for now, Mark." Doug said and turned to leave the room. 

;;;;;;;; 

The next morning Doug and Carol lie in the spare room bed, wrapped in each other's arms. The girls were on the floor, curled closely together and sleeping soundly inside the heaps of blankets Helen had provided for them. 

"Doug?" Carol asked quietly. 

"Mm?" He murmured. 

"I want to go to the hospital today." Carol said. Doug nodded. 

"Alright." He replied softly. 

"Are you going to come with me?" Carol asked. 

"Would you like me to?" Doug asked. 

"If you want. I don't want to make you do it if you don't want to go back there. I understand if you don't." Carol replied. He shrugged his shoulders slightly. 

"I know I wasn't ready to go when we were last in Chicago." Doug said, referring to the time right after Carol had come to Seattle and they had went back to Chicago to pick the girl's up at Helen's. Carol had gone back to the hospital to resign and get her things. Doug had refused to go. Even then he hadn't been ready. First of all he thought everyone at work would be upset with him over the Ricky Abbott incident and be mad at him for leaving Carol. But now he wasn't so sure he wouldn't mind going back. He hadn't seen his friends there in a long time. Plus Susan was back. It had been years since he had seen her. 

"Are you now?" Carol asked quietly. 

"Right now I don't really care what Kerry has to say if she sees me. I'm not even worried about her anymore. But what will everyone else think if they see me?" He asked quietly. Carol looked up at him. 

"I think they'll be happy to see you. Nobody blamed you for leaving, Doug, except me. And everybody knew I was being stubborn and not talking to you, and that what happened was as much my fault as yours. Nobody dislikes you. Maybe Kerry does, but you just said you don't care what she thinks. Romano never comes down to the ER because he thinks what we do is pointless. Dr. Anspaugh is no longer there. So everybody who may still be upset with you is no one you need to worry about. But it's really up to you whether or not you think you can handle it." Carol said. Doug squeezed her a bit. 

"Let me think about it a little more. I'll decide soon." Doug said. Carol nodded. 

"I don't want to leave until after lunch anyway." She said. Doug nodded. 

"I'll let you know at lunch time then." He said. Carol nodded. 

"Alright." She agreed. 

"We should wake the girls." Doug said and turned his head to look at them. Carol nodded once more. 

;;;;;;;; 

Doug and Carol headed into the hospital through the ambulance bay doors, out of habit. Normally people didn't walk through the ambulance doors. They stood close together; unaware of how many changes had occurred since they left. First they saw a strange man standing behind the admit desk. 

"Who's that?" Doug asked quietly. Carol shrugged. 

"I have absolutely no idea. Randi was here when I left." Carol answered as she watched the scene unfold. 

"Frank, where's my muffin?" A big, burly man asked as he came up behind Frank. 

"I didn't take it, Jerry! It must've been one of the lunatics in Chairs." Frank replied tersely. 

"Yeah right, you know you ate it old man!" Jerry said. 

"Oh, stick a sock in a it!" Frank ordered. Jerry snorted and turned, suddenly spotting Doug and Carol. His eyes lit up. 

"Carol! Doug!" 

"Hey Jerry." Doug replied with a wide smile as he walked to the desk. 

"What are you doing here? I thought you left!" Jerry said. 

"I thought you left!" Carol replied. Jerry chuckled. 

"I just came back a few months ago because Randi quit." Jerry said. 

"Why'd she quit?" Carol asked. 

"Actually I think she found a job in fashion. Finally." Jerry said. 

"That's great." Carol said. Jerry nodded. 

"So what are you doing here?" He asked. 

"Coming to visit." Doug replied. Jerry nodded. 

"You'll be shocked at how much has changed. I was surprised when I got here!" Jerry said. 

"Really?" Carol asked. 

"Yeah. There's a bunch of new doctors and nurses and everybody who is the same has different positions and everything! Oh and guess what else?" Jerry asked with a wicked smile. 

"What?" Doug asked. Jerry's voice lowered in mischief. 

"Kerry's gay!" He said. 

"What?" Doug asked, lowering his own voice with shock. 

"Yeah, apparently a few weeks before I came, someone kissed her right here in the middle of everyone. And I've seen her leave the hospital every now and then with some woman." 

"You've gotta be kiddin' me!" Doug exclaimed, his eyes alight with amusement. 

"Not at all!" Jerry said. 

"I should've known!" Doug said and turned to look at Carol, laughing. She grinned herself, not finding it as hilarious as Doug, but finding it funny enough to warrant a smile. He chuckled. 

"So what else is new?" Doug asked. "Don't tell me Carter's married!" Doug said. Jerry smiled. 

"No, he's workin' on getting with Abby." Jerry said. 

"Abby?" Doug asked. 

"She's the one who helped deliver the twins and she was in medical school when I left." Carol told Doug. 

"Actually she's a nurse now." Jerry said. 

"Oh really?" Carol asked, remember the first time Abby had come to the ER and Carol had been making fun of doctors. Hm, Carol thought, she did change paths. Good for her. Jerry nodded. 

"Yeah. And there are a bunch of new people that weren't here before." 

"Like who?" Doug asked. 

"Well, Chen's back, and Susan. Plus I never met Luka. Abby, Peter's gone." 

"Peter's gone! Since when?" Carol asked with shock. 

"Since late last year. They said he quit because Reese's mother died and he needed better hours. So he went to a different hospital." 

"Really? Wow." Doug said. 

"I guess a lot has changed." Carol said. 

"Carol?" Someone asked from behind. Carol and Doug turned to look at the tall, dark-haired man. 

"Luka." Carol said. He smiled. Jerry faded away, letting the couple become reacquainted with others. 

"It is you!" He said and leaned down to hug her. He felt the bump of her pregnant stomach against his ribs. Pregnant again, he thought with just a hint of regret. They hadn't parted on such good terms, but he had long since gotten over her and it no longer bothered him. And apparently Luka did not see the man standing beside Carol. She smiled. "Where are the girls?" He asked, anxious to see how they had grown. 

"They're at my mom's house. I'm here with Doug to visit Mark." Carol said, motioning toward Doug. Luka turned to look at him, noticing him for the first time. Both he and Doug looked each other up and down, as if measuring each other's worth. Carol watched them and nearly rolled her eyes. Men, what were they good for? She asked herself silently. Finally Doug reached a hand out to shake Luka's. 

"I'm Doug Ross. Carol's husband." Doug said for good measure. Luka nodded. 

"Luka Kovac." He replied as they shook hands. Doug didn't look anything like what Luka had pictured in his head. Luka didn't look anything like Doug had pictured in his head. 

"Nice to meet you." Doug said, forcing himself to be polite. 

"You too." Luka replied and turned to Carol. "Well, I have work to do. Maybe I'll see you later." Luka said. Carol nodded and smiled at him. 

"Hope so." She said and he walked away. She turned to Doug and gave him an annoyed look. "Jealous?" She asked. He shrugged. 

"I just wanted him to know that you're mine now." Doug said. Carol did roll her eyes this time. 

"Jesus Doug, isn't it enough for you to know that we are married now and I am five months pregnant with our third child?" Carol asked. Doug shrugged and grinned about. 

"Just didn't want him getting any ideas." He said. Carol sighed. 

"How do I live with you?" She asked. He chuckled. 

"Carol? Doug?" They both turned to find Susan coming toward them quickly. Her face lit up as she saw it really was them. "Hey." She said, laughing a bit in that way she had. Carol went to her and hugged her enthusiastically. 

"Susan!" Carol exclaimed. Susan pulled away but kept her hands on Carol's shoulders. 

"Look at you!" Susan said and looked down at Carol's belly. Carol smiled widely. Susan released her to hug Doug. 

"You look great, too." Susan said. Doug chuckled. 

"As do you." Susan looked at the both of them. 

"Wow. It's still hard to believe you guys are together." 

"Married now." Doug said and held up his left hand to show the simple wedding band he wore. Susan shook her head. 

"I never would have thought. Doug Ross getting married." 

"Yeah, well, I didn't think so either." Carol said. Susan laughed as they all smiled at each other. Suddenly her face became more sober and serious. 

"Have you been to see Mark yet?" She asked. Doug and Carol nodded solemnly. 

"Yeah, we went yesterday and the day before. We took the girls to see him yesterday." Carol replied. 

"Oh. Speaking of them, where are the twins? I haven't gotten to see them yet." Susan said. Carol smiled. 

"They staying with my mom. Maybe you can see them before we go back to Seattle." Carol said. Susan nodded. 

"That'd be great." 

"Susan? What are you doing?" They heard the sharp question come from behind. Carol, Doug, and Susan all turned to find Kerry limping swiftly towards them. She slowed, hesitated when she saw Doug and Carol. 

"Just visiting, Kerry." Susan said and turned around to roll her eyes at Carol and Doug. Doug nearly smiled but didn't think it would be best if Kerry found out Susan was making fun of her, under the circumstances. 

"Isn't there a better time for that?" Kerry asked. 

"It's nice to see you too, Kerry." Carol said, annoyed. Kerry nodded shortly. 

"Good to see you, Carol. Doug." Kerry said, forcing herself to be polite. Doug merely nodded, sure if he opened his mouth he would burst into laughter. 

"I'll get back to work in a minute, Kerry." Susan said. Kerry nodded and shifted to go around them. 

"Don't take long, there are patients waiting." Susan rolled her eyes at Kerry's back. 

"I should go. Maybe we can arrange for a time to catch up." 

"How about tonight?" Carol suggested. Susan nodded. 

"That's fine with me. I get off at five." She said. 

"How about six then?" Carol asked. 

"Good idea." Susan replied. 

"I promised the twins I'd take them to McDonald's tonight." Doug said. 

"I can go alone, if you don't mind." Carol said. He smiled. 

"Go ahead. I'm sure I'd get lost in the girl talk anyway." He said, catching on to the barest hint Carol sent him about giving her some time alone with Susan. He knew she wanted to try to find out how Susan felt about Mark's condition. 

"If I'm imposing.." Susan said, slightly worried. 

"You're not." Carol reassured her. "So, how about you come pick me up at my mom's house. You can meet the girls and then we can go somewhere to talk and everything." Carol said. 

"Sounds great. Do you mind if we eat in tonight? I can order Chinese to my apartment." Susan said. 

"Mm, sounds good. We don't eat Chinese much in Seattle." Carol said. Susan grinned. 

"Alright. Where does your mom live?" Susan asked. Carol gave her directions quickly before Susan decided she should probably get back to work. 

Doug and Carol walked around the hospital for over an hour, talking with old friends and meeting new people. 

;;;;;;;; 

Later that night at shortly before six o'clock, Susan walked up the steps of Helen Hathaway's house. She knocked briskly on the door, waiting slight impatiently to see the girls. She could already imagine that they would be beautiful children. Moments later the door to the house opened and Carol peeked out. 

"Hey Susan." She said. Susan smiled widely. 

"Where are they? I can hardly wait!" Susan said as Carol opened the door fully so Susan could come in. Susan walked in. 

"Hold on. Let me round them up." Carol said. 

"Girls!" She said, raising her voice just enough so the girls in the kitchen could hear them. Moments later they came walking out of the kitchen, Doug on their heels. Susan smiled widely. They are cute as hell, she thought. 

"We baking wi'f Grandma." Tess said, clearly impatient with being called away from her duty. Carol grinned. 

"I'd like you girls to meet a friend of mine. This is Susan." Carol said. 

"Hi." The girls chimed in at the exact same moment. 

"Hello." Susan said. 

"The one on your left is Kate. The other is Tess." Carol cleared up for Susan. 

"What are you baking?" Susan asked them. 

"Chalk-it chit cookies." Tess replied matter-of-factly. Susan chuckled. 

"My favorite." She said. 

"Me too!" Kate replied in awe. She now had a hero. 

"Mine is sugar cookies." Tess said. 

"Mine too, kiddo." Doug replied. Tess smiled up at him, knowing this. 

"Susan and I are going to go eat dinner. Make sure Daddy doesn't let you have any cookies before dinner." Carol said and unconsciously rubbed her stomach. Doug chuckled as the twins "awwww"-ed in unison. 

"Momma!" Kate whined. Carol shook her finger. 

"You know the rules." She said. Tess sighed but then turned and smiled sweetly up at her father. He chuckled and held up his hands. 

"Momma's the boss." He said. Carol smiled. 

"That's right." She said. Doug and Susan chuckled. "Now you go on and help Grandma." Carol said. The girls nodded and scrambled wildly back to the kitchen. Carol looked at Doug. 

"I don't know when I'll be back. I won't be too late." Carol said. Doug chuckled. 

"Remember girls, no drinking and driving. And especially no men!" Doug said. 

"Yes, Dad." Susan replied and she and Carol left the house laughing. 

;;;;;;;; 

Carol and Susan took the El to Susan's house, where Susan had already ordered their Chinese. It would arrive within a few minutes. 

"Do you eat Chinese a lot?" Carol asked as they walked into the house. The two had ordered their dinner on Susan's cell phone as they were waiting for the El to arrive. Susan nodded with a laugh. 

"Yeah. I can't help it! A lot of the time I am too tired to make my own dinner. So I know that it takes them exactly twenty-one minutes to deliver the food; therefore, it should be coming within," Susan checked her watch, "four minutes." Carol laughed. 

"I'm glad you know that so well." She said. They simply sat and made small talk until their food arrived. As they dug in, they told each other stories about what they had done since they last saw each other. Finally as the last noodle was slurped, Carol thought it was finally time to ask Susan how she felt about Mark dying. 

"When did Mark quit working?" Carol asked. Susan sighed and placed her drink back onto the coffee table. 

"Only a month ago. His tumor got worse a lot faster than predicted. He should have had three, even four months. Instead he's barely hung on past two." Susan said. 

"Have you gone to see him since he went home?" She asked. Susan nodded. 

"Yeah, I go once a week or so. I don't want to intrude on Elizabeth. Sometimes I think she resents me. I don't want to screw up her time with him." Susan said sadly. 

"But what about the time you need with Mark?" Carol asked. 

"What do you mean?" Susan asked. 

"You have feelings for him, right?" Carol asked. Susan dropped her gaze from Carol's and didn't reply for a few moments. 

"Of course. He's always been a good friend to me." Susan said. Carol sighed. 

"Mark said you were the first person he told about his tumor being back. Obviously he trusts you with a lot." Carol said. Susan looked up. 

"And your point is?" She asked, growing upset. She didn't want to talk about Mark dying. Nothing she could say or do would prevent that from happening. 

"Do you love him?" Carol asked. Susan stood up from the couch and walked away from Carol and to the window. She wrapped her arms around herself and looked out on the city street below as a single car passed quietly in the darkness; it's headlights cutting through it softly. 

"Does it matter?" Susan asked. 

"Hell yes, it matters!" Carol said and stood herself. 

"Why?" Susan asked. 

"Because Mark loves you! He needs to know you love him in return before he dies!" 

"How will that help anything? It'll just make him more upset with dying. I don't want to make this any harder for him than it already is." 

"If you ask me, it'll make it easier on him if he knows you love him in return." Carol said, annoyed with Susan's attitude. 

"How do you even know he still loves me? He married Elizabeth. He had a child with her. That's more than he's ever done with me!" Susan said. 

"That's because you weren't here! He never expected you to come back! He had to move on with his life. Would you really have wanted him to stay here in Chicago, always pining away for you and never being happy because of it?" Carol asked. 

"I was never happy in Arizona!" Susan said, knowing it was a childish argument. 

"Because why?" Carol asked. Susan broke down. 

"Because I love him! I needed him!" She exclaimed and went back to the couch and sat. 

"Is that why you came back?" Carol asked quietly. Susan nodded. 

"Just to find that he has moved on, whilst I haven't!" Susan said. Carol sighed and sat beside Susan on the couch. She hugged Susan quietly as Susan cried into her shoulder. "I don't want him to die! Even if he can't be with me, I'd rather he be alive." Susan said. 

"We all would." Carol replied softly. Susan sighed and pulled away from Carol so she could wipe her cheeks with her hands. "You should tell him how you feel." Carol said. Susan shook her head. 

"I can't." 

"Why not?" Carol asked. 

"Despite the fact that you seem to think it will help, I don't. I think if he does really still love me and I tell him I love him, it will make him wish he wasn't dying." 

"Don't you think he's already wishing that?" Carol asked. "Of course he is. But if you tell him how you feel, he'll know that you'll always carry him in your heart. He'll know that what he felt wasn't wasted. I doubt that Mark regrets Elizabeth and what she has given him. But you can be sure he regrets what he never got to have with you." Carol said. Susan sniffled. 

"Still..I don't think I can tell him. I don't have the same outlook as you." Susan said. Carol sighed. 

"I think you are making a mistake in not telling him." Carol said. 

"Maybe I am. And if I am, I'll live with it." Susan said. 

"And Mark will die with it." Carol said. Susan sighed. 

"Talk about making a person feel like shit." Susan said. Carol smiled a bit. 

"I'm sorry. I just don't want you to do something you'll always regret. I just want what is in the best interest for both of you and I think by avoiding this, you aren't doing what is best. But because that is how you feel, I won't press you on it anymore." Carol said. Susan smiled. 

"Thank you." She said. Carol nodded. 

"I think Doug and I are going to go see Mark tomorrow. Maybe you should drop by too." Carol said. Susan nodded. 

"I'm about due for a visit anyway." She said. Carol nodded. 

"Alright. Well, I better get back." Carol said. Susan nodded as they said their goodbyes and Carol left to take the El back to Helen's. 

;;;;;;;; 

The next day Susan rang the doorbell to the Greene house. She could hear the baby crying inside and wondered if she should just turn around and leave. Maybe Elizabeth hadn't heard the ringing above the yell of the young child. 

Suddenly the door opened quickly and Rachel stood on the other side. 

"Oh, hey Susan. Come on in." Rachel said and opened the door wider. Susan stepped inside. 

"Doesn't sound like somebody's very happy." Susan said 

"Yeah, she's hungry and I think Elizabeth ran out of milk." Rachel said. 

"Oh, I see." Susan said. Rachel nodded as she shut the door. 

"You know where his room is, right?" Rachel asked. Susan nodded. 

"Yeah, I'll just head on up." Susan said. Rachel nodded. 

"I'll tell Elizabeth you are here." Susan nodded in return and headed up the stairs. Rachel walked toward the kitchen. Susan knocked quietly on the door to Mark's room. 

"Come in." She heard him rasp behind the door. She pushed it open and walked in. He smiled as best he could, although every minute it was becoming harder for him. 

"Hey." He slurred. She smiled, fighting the tears that threatened to fill her eyes and spill over. 

"How are you?" She asked and sat beside him on the bed. She patted his hand gently. 

"I'm okay." He said. She nodded and they both turned their attention toward the door when they heard a soft knock. Elizabeth came into the room, Ella on her hip. The baby had finally stopped crying but her face was red and angry. 

"Sorry to interrupt." Elizabeth said. Susan smiled slightly. "I ran out of milk, so I was going to take Ella and go to the store on the corner really quickly." Elizabeth said. Mark nodded. 

"Okay." She said. 

"I thought it would be okay if I went if Susan and Rachel are both here." Elizabeth said. 

"I'll be fine. Go get Ella some milk." Mark said slowly and thickly. Elizabeth nodded. 

"Okay. Do you need anything?" She asked. 

"No, I'm good." Mark replied. She nodded. 

"Okay. I'll be back soon." She said and turned to leave the room. Susan watched her go before she turned back to Mark. 

"She'll take care of your baby really well." Susan said. Mark nodded. 

"I'm just glad she loves Ella as much as she does. I wouldn't feel safe leaving my daughter with many other people." Mark said, although it took him some time to form so many words because of his little muscle control of his face. 

"Yeah." Susan replied and squeezed his hand. He swallowed. 

"There's something I wanted to tell you." He paused. "I know I don't have a lot of time left. And I've been putting this off for months." He paused to swallow again. Susan's heart began to pound and she licked her lips. She had a feeling that she knew what was coming. "But I want to tell you this before I die. Because if I don't, you'll never…know." Mark said. 

"Mark…I." Susan said, her throat working and tears threatening to come once more. 

"I love you." He paused and watched her face out of his one working eye. "I've always loved you." He stopped as the first tear spilled down her cheek. "I love Elizabeth. She's my wife; I wouldn't have married her if I didn't. But I've always known that you were the one. You were the one for me." 

"Don't Mark..Please, I can't.." Susan hung her head as the tears continued to slide down her face. He squeezed her hand with the little bit of strength he had left. His breath rasped in his chest. 

"It has…to be said." He said. Susan looked up at him. "I know that you may not want to hear it. But I didn't want to leave you without you knowing, even if you don't feel the same." Mark said. 

"I do, Mark. I love you, so much, I.." She sobbed a bit and reached her free hand up to cover her mouth. "I don't know what I am going to do without you here." 

"Shh, don't cry." Mark said softly. "I'll always be with you. Just remember that." He paused, working to get the words out. "I know we haven't gotten to live our lives together, but that can't be changed. I just want you to go on with your life. Don't hold back because of me, okay?" He asked. She nodded as tears streamed down her face. "Promise me." He said. 

"I promise." She whispered. He nodded. 

"Good. I love you. Always remember that." He said. 

"I love you, too." She said and reached up to brush a hand over his forehead. Then she bent down and pressed her lips to his in a short, sweet kiss even though he didn't have the strength to kiss her back. 

Then she pulled back and wiped her eyes with her hand. He smiled. 

"I'm glad I told you." He said. She smiled. 

"Me too." She said and realized how relieved she really was to have told him. Suddenly were interrupted by another knock on the door. Rachel poked her head in. 

"Dad?" She asked quietly. 

"Hm?" He replied softly. 

"Uh, Doug and Carol are here." She said and stepped into the room. Susan could see Doug and Carol standing behind Rachel. 

"Have them come in. And you stay too, Rach." Mark said. Susan felt her chest tighten. He didn't want her to leave. Under normal circumstances would he want her to stay when the rest of his visitors were his adult friends? Susan wondered. 

"Okay." Rachel said, slightly apprehensive. She wasn't sure how to react around him anymore. She was scared to death of him leaving her, leaving her alone to survive with Jen. She didn't want to grow up without him. She felt the onslaught of tears and forced them back down her throat as they prickled the backs of her eyes. 

Doug, Carol, and Rachel all shuffled into the room. Doug and Carol walked up to Mark's bed, holding hands. 

"How are you doin', buddy?" Doug asked. Mark smiled as best he could and let out a raspy breath. 

"Not so good." Mark said. Worry passed over all their faces. 

"Do you need anything?" Doug asked, releasing Carol. 

"Another pillow, behind me, please." Mark requested. Doug and Susan helped prop Mark up with one more pillow. He smiled at them. 

"Thanks guys." He said. Susan stepped back and came up to Carol's side. They looked at each other momentarily and Carol could read the pain in Susan's eyes. They must've talked, Carol thought sadly. Mark cleared his throat a little just as Elizabeth walked into the room, holding Ella. 

"I'm back." She said. "I thought you guys might be here." Elizabeth said, talking to Doug and Carol. They nodded and Doug stood back and took Carol's hand again. Carol, Doug, Susan, Rachel, and Elizabeth holding Ella all stood at the foot of Mark's bed. He smiled at them. 

"You all look so sad." He said. A small sob shot out of Rachel's mouth before she could cover it up. 

"Oh, baby, I'm sorry." Mark said. "C'mere." Rachel climbed onto the bed and curled up into his right arm. She buried her face in his chest and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry that I won't be here for the rest of your life." 

"Daddy, don't go, please." She begged him as tears rolled down her cheeks. Elizabeth, Carol, and Susan all had tears rolling down their faces. Carol quickly turned her head into Doug's shoulder at Rachel's words. Doug felt tears burn the back of his own throat, but he wouldn't let them out. He felt he needed to be strong for Mark and for Carol. 

"Bring Ella here." Mark said softly. Elizabeth bent over him and placed Ella on the bed. She crawled her way towards Mark's face. He smiled and wished with all his might that he could bring his arms up to hug his daughters. Dear God, he would miss them. He was so afraid to leave them alone. 

"I love you, Rachel." Mark said. Rachel sobbed and wrapped her arms tightly around him. 

"Daddy." She whimpered. Mark looked at Ella. 

"I love you, too, Ella. I'm sorry that I'll never get to know you." He murmured. Ella merely stared at him, as though aware that something very important was happening. Mark closed his eyes for just a moment, before reaching inside of himself to find the strength he needed to go on. He opened his eyes and looked at the people at the foot of his bed. His four best friends: the love of his life, Susan; his wife, Elizabeth; his brother, Doug; his sister, Carol. He smiled at them. 

"I love all of you, too. Thank you for giving me the wonderful life I've had." He said. Elizabeth simply watched Mark and their daughter, tears silently rolling down her cheeks. Susan sobbed, but covered her mouth with her hand, trying to push those sobs back in. Carol watched him, her head leaning on Doug's shoulder and her free hand resting on her belly as tears rolled down her cheeks. Doug fought the tears that were in his eyes as he watched his friend smile on last time before closing his eyes. Rachel sat up quickly and looked down at him. 

"Daddy?" She asked, panic flashing in her voice. "Daddy? Please, Daddy, come back." She said as tears streamed down her face. "Oh Daddy." She said as realization that he was never coming back settled over her. She bent her head, placed it on his chest, and wept. Ella reached out and touched Mark's cheek with her tiny finger. Then she began to wail at the top of her lungs. Elizabeth went to her and picked her up, as the baby buried her face in Elizabeth's shoulder and tangled her tiny fingers in the red curls and her little tiny body heaved with sobs. Elizabeth burrowed her face into the chubby neck of her daughter and let the tears come. Susan turned away from the bed, her hands, fisted, and pressed against her mouth as uncontrollable sobs filled her. Carol and Doug turned to each other and Carol buried her face in Doug's shirt, letting her own anger and sadness spill into him. 

Finally, after a few moments, Susan came to her senses and realized Rachel had no one to comfort her. Susan walked to the bed and eased on it, still crying. She quickly checked Mark's pulse to find one not there. She sobbed a bit before she grabbed onto Rachel and pulled the girl off of Mark. Rachel turned her head into Susan's shoulder, not really caring whose shoulder she was turning into at that moment. Her father was dead. She would never see him alive again. She would do anything to get him back. 

;;;;;;;; 

Finally, hours later, when they had gotten everything settled in, Mark sent to the appropriate place, news sent to the hospital about his death, information sent to all the right places, and everything else that needs to be done after a person's death, Doug and Carol headed into Helen's house. It wasn't even dinnertime yet, but Carol knew she had to go to bed. She was emotionally exhausted and needed to escape for a while in the realm of sleep. 

As they walked into the house, Helen smiled widely at them, unaware. As soon as she caught sight of Carol's face, the smile disappeared. 

"Mama, can you take care of the girls for the rest of the night?" Carol asked. Helen nodded grimly, realizing what had happened. 

"Of course." 

"Can they sleep in your room?" Doug asked, his arm firmly around Carol. Helen nodded. 

"You know they can. If you need anything, come get me." She said. Doug nodded and led Carol back to the spare room where they were sleeping. 

"C'mon, Carol, let's get in bed." He said. 

"Don't leave me, Doug." She said. He nodded. 

"I won't." He said as he helped her slide under the covers. 

"Okay." She said. He slid in beside her and wrapped his arms around her waist. He placed his hand on the back of her head and pulled her toward him. 

"Go to sleep." He whispered. She snuggled in. 

"Doug, I loved him like a brother." Carol murmured. Doug nodded. 

"Me too. Sleep, darling, sleep. You need your rest." He said. She nodded and quickly drifted off, too exhausted to do otherwise. Doug simply lied there, holding her, thinking of Mark and wondering where he was now. 

;;;;;;;; 

A few days later the funeral took place. Doug and Carol attended, along with everyone from the hospital. Mark's ex-wife was there, and so were both his daughters. There wasn't a dry eye in the entire place as words were said about their friend, a wonderful doctor. There wasn't a dry eye in the place when his casket was lowered into the ground. 

And there was hardly a dry eye as everyone left the cemetery to go on with his or her lives. 

;;;;;;;; 

**September 16th**

At two AM Carol awoke, experiencing severe back pains. She groaned and waited, hoping the pain would cease. She placed her hands on her belly, recognizing the contractions she had once felt nearly three years before. Nearly thirty seconds later, the pain began to fade. 

As soon as it ended, Carol leaned over and began to shake Doug's shoulders. He rolled over and blinked his eyes up at her. 

"Carol, what is it?" He asked. 

"It's time." She whispered. He sat up quickly, nearly knocking her backwards. 

"Now?" He asked. Carol nodded. 

"I just had a really big contraction." She said. 

"Oh, okay!" Doug jumped out of bed. "We have to get the girl's up!" Doug said. Carol managed to push herself up out of the bed. She followed Doug out of the room and into the girl's room. 

"It's time?" Tess asked, yawning widely. Doug nodded. 

"Come on, girls, we have to get your mommy to the hospital and you to David's house." Doug said. David was a colleague at the hospital Carol and Doug worked out, who adored the girls and had promised to take them at any time of the day when Carol went into labor. 

Doug managed to round all of them up and got them into the car. 

;;;;;;;; 

Doug stood nervously beside Carol's bed in the hospital. She was taking a cat nap because she had just gotten her epidural and the pain had finally ceased. The doctor said she wouldn't need to push for a little while yet. 

David had come to the hospital hours earlier to pick up the girls. They were now at his house, probably sleeping, Doug thought. 

Doug was so nervous. Probably even more nervous than Carol was. He was anxious because he had missed the twin's births and so this was his first time experiencing one of his children being born. Plus there had been some complications with Kate's birth and he didn't want anything to happen to Carol, or the new baby. 

He sighed and began to pace the floor, knowing it'd never be able to stay sitting still until this baby was out and both it and Carol were safe. 

;;;;;;;; 

"It's a boy!" The doctor announced as their child slide into the world, wailing. Tears filled Doug's eyes and he couldn't hold them back. He had a son and he'd been there for the entire birth. Doug smiled down at Carol as their son was lain on her chest. She laughed, hugging and kissing her newborn baby. She looked at Doug and he bent his head, pressing his lips to hers before they both turned back to their child. 

Moments later the nurse took the baby away to wrap him up and weigh him. Doug leaned down and kissed Carol again. 

"You did great." He said. She smiled. "I love you." 

"I love you too, Doug." The doctor looked up from her place between Carol's legs. She waited for their moment to end before she asked her question. 

"Does he have a name yet?" Doug and Carol looked at each other and nodded as a silent grief passed between them. Then Doug looked up and met the doctor's gaze. 

"Mark Nicholas Ross." He said. The doctor smiled. 

"Mark. That's a good name." She said. Doug and Carol smiled. 

"We thought so." Carol said and met Doug's gaze once more. He leaned over and kissed her once more. 

"Mark would be happy." Doug said. Carol nodded and touched is cheek. 

"I know." She replied. Then the nurse brought their own son back to them. Carol smiled and kissed his forehead. Doug touched the baby's tiny curled fist. Mark opened up his fingers and wrapped them around Doug's. 

"We love you, Mark." Carol whispered softly. 

;;;;;;;; 

I don't know much about brain tumors, so I really don't know if what I typed fits medically. I just wrote what I need for this fic! Please send me feedback!! 

;;;;;;;; 


End file.
